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Threepeat?
Drew Gallagher,
9/29/08 |
PRESS RELEASE
September 28, 2008; Millwood, VA:
Perkolators' owner and Tim Lincecum fluffer, Jon Perkins
was photographed today holding a bottle of Korbell in
one hand and raising his middle finger on the other hand
as he put lovechild Ryan Theriot in a bear hug. When
asked if the finger was directed at anyone in particular
he responded:
"The finger is for threepeat! You tell the rest of the
ESL that we'll be holding a clinic before next year's
draft on how to win back to back championships. So the
finger is merely a symbol of success and not directed at
anyone in particular. Now that you mention it
though…tell those fifth-place Scottsmen it's for them."
Perk then took a long swing of champagne before
wrestling Kevin Kouzmanoff to the floor and tickling his
belly.
Thus endeth the first repeat championship in the ESL
since the Malcontents did it many years ago. And the
championship was not without some last day stress. Had
the Malcontents gotten another hit or two on Sunday they
likely would've passed the Chuck N Ducks in batting
average and only needed to salvage a half point
elsewhere in the standings to tie for first. When the
skintight standings were broached with an increasingly
drunk Perkins he had this to say:
"A couple of hits? Come on, this team was built to
withstand all comers from the outset. I admit that I
made quite a few shrewd moves along the way, not the
least of which was Fernando Tatis, but we coasted down
the stretch. This team was a better investment than my
401K. And please remind Dale that this middle finger is
for him…" |
The race for
first place did come down to the last day of the season
but the race for the third place literally came down to
one of the last innings played in the regular season.
When Delwyn Young pinch-hit in the ninth inning of the
Dodger game yesterday the Druids' season hung in the
balance. The Druids trailed Marty in batting average by
mere percentage points. If Delwyn had made an out Marty
would've beat Drew in average and tied Mal for fifth
place and the Druids would've tied the Scottsmen for
third place. Instead, Mr. Young doubled to deep
rightfield and the Druids' batting average cleared Marty
by one hit. If the Mets had won yesterday it all may
have hinged upon a Endy Chavez pinch-hit appearance
today. What might've been...
Congratulations to all of the money winners and thanks
to all three of the new owners for making the league as
competitive as it has been in recent memory. Paul made a
run at the money while still managing to stow away some
nice players for next year. The Question Marks and Chuck
N Ducks retooled their rosters extensively at the trade
deadline and both are loaded with keepers for 2009. (And
thanks to my Dad for beating Dale by one very important
RBI.)
Payouts will be issued in something approximating real
time and not Winterburn time.
I enjoyed the season and will now begin my six-month
quest to get Shane Victorino back where he belongs. And
please let me finish by uttering the phrase that Mal has
been dying to hear: "Let the trades begin." |
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2007 Annual Winter Rankings
Jamie Schlesinger, 11/16/07 |
*I will
summarize the 3 other teams once we know what is going
on.
Jamie
Offense: B
Decent core of Wright, Loney and Drew (assuming he picks
up where he left off in the playoffs). Reynolds could be
valuable if Tracy gets moved. I have some other question
marks who could be starters with Ortmeier $2, T Abreu
$5, Headley $7, Keppinger $5 and Burke $8.
Starting Pitching: D
All I can say is I have Billingsley and possibly
Villaneuva.
Closers: B
Izzy $17 had a nice season and is a good value assuming
he is healthy. I hope one of Howry and Marmol is the
closer as Dempster is supposedly in the rotation.
Minors: B-
Rasmus is young and could be patrolling CF in July.
Chris Mal
Offense: A
Phenominal OF lead by Byrnes and Young (thanks Mal for
making the rich richer). Trades may be down fall with
Kemp and Quentin in many packages.
Starting Pitching: D-
Might have one SP keeper if Bush is traded and Pelfrey
goes to the pen.
Closers: A
May have 3 cheap closers with Valverde, Corpas and
possibly Linebrink.
Minors: A
Votto, Gomez, Bruce and Bailey may start the year in the
NL.
Drew
Offense: C+
Basically five keeper options at this point lead by a
cheap Uggla and a $10 Victorino.
Starting Pitching: C
No head toppers but decent value in Gorzelanny and
Maine.
Closers: D-
None but potentially Fuentes could find a role if he is
traded.
Minors: None |
Marty
Offense: A
Love the core of Phillips, McCann, A Gonzalez, Pence and
Hart for under $35. You certainly have room to move
someone like Hawpe for a SP and do yourself a favor with
pitching.
Starting Pitching: D-
I must admit Looper was actually not terrible.
Closers: B
I do not want to talk about Weathers.
Minors: C
Kershaw is a great prospect but not sure he makes the
staff so he could become a $10 rookie SP. Gonzalez is a
nice prospect too but no place to play at the moment. He
also seems to be trade bait for Arizona.
Perk
Offense: B-
Certainly could have some cheap SB value potentially
with The Riot, Bourn, Weeks and Davis (if he gets PT).
Not a whole lot of power but you could make that up at
the draft given you have a ton of value at pitcher.
Starting Pitching: A
Incredibly cheap good young SP with the only reason you
do not get an A+ is Sabean saying Lincecum is available.
$12 could fill up your whole starting staff on draft day
and still finish toward the top in the major categories.
Closers: A+
Three potential closers for $8, wow. We all hope the
Astros sign a closer to give us a chance.
Minors: D-
At least you have nothing here.
Mal
Offense: C+
Solid base with the #1 catcher and a solid OF in
Francoeur but a lot of ? after that. Hamilton could make
the grade in the B range.
Starting Pitching: A-
Nice SP staff lead by the Cy Young winner, Young and
Mal’s messiah Gallardo. Olsen blew up in the wrong way
in 2007, not sure he is a keeper because he is such a
head case.
Closers: B-
Wilson at a buck could be a nice cheap closer after that
not much there.
Minors: B
Lots of options but most of them have high salaries but
one or two may help in 2008. |
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The Return of the Baseball Caps!
Drew Gallagher, 1/15/07 |
Gentlemen,
Wanted to let everyone know that one of the ESL’s
original 10 owners has agreed to return to the ESL for
the 2007 season. Mr. Winterburn has opted to not return
and so Mike Capilo will be taking over his team.
I have known Mike for 30 years and never once has he
come close to finishing in the money in the ESL. His
modest goals for the upcoming season are to break the
Millersville Sluggers modest run of mediocrity and
finish in the sixth place spot just out of the money.
Please allow Mike some time to digest his team (Jamie,
this means you) and figure out who the hell some of
these players are. His first order of business will be
to make a trade with Perk for Matt Capps. His second
order of business will be to put Scott Olsen on The
Maher of Simpleton’s team so he stops bugging the rest
of us.
Winterburn will be missed (I think he may have been the
third longest tenured member of the league) but he
ultimately decided that there were more important things
in life than waiting on Felix Pie to finally make the
majors.
Your once and future king.
Drew |
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Ownership Change in ESL
Drew Gallagher, 12/18/06 |
Gentlemen,
It is with some reservations that I introduce a new
owner to replace Zo who has opted for early retirement
from the ESL.
There are a couple of reasons for trepidation but the
major two are:
1. He went to college with Jamie and still remains in
close contact with Jamie
2. His name is Mal and any further association with that
moniker gives me pause in the light of Chris’ continued
dominance of the league
He at least started off by asking me to thank all of you
for allowing him to join the league (as if that is some
coveted position). He promises to be very active and
denies that there is any truth to the rumor that Jamie
required the rights to David Wright before submitting
his name for ESL consideration.
Zo’s formidable presence will be missed on the floor of
my parents’ house this draft day but Mal has already
asked when he should send in his entrance fees for 2007.
Apparently he understands that making transactions is
important for franchise success.
And speaking of entrance fees, if anyone sees Scott
Winterburn or has heard from him regarding payment of
winnings please let me know. It is unfortunate that
payout of winnings appears to be close to a Christmas
miracle this year.
Thanks,
Drew |
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2006 Annual Winter Rankings
Jamie Schlesinger, 12/11/06 |
As I did last
off season I put together the off season power rankings
(because I would rather do this than work). I will do it
a little differently and give grades vs rankings.
Jamie
Strength: Lots of Middle Infielders (Drew, Weeks, Burke,
Durham, Furcal, Carroll and Izturis) and a solid
offensive core with Cabrera and Francoeur for under $25.
If I can find a team looking for some offense we can
probably make a move or two to help each other out.
Weakness: No closer and no stud ace. My boy is off to
better things and Turnblow is still trying to find the
strike zone.
Offense: A-
Starting Pitching: C+
Closers: F Unless my Stanton or Turnblow get another
opportunity
Chris Mal
Strength: Depending on the rest of the off season,
Chris could have some nice depth with his offense
especially with young outfield anchored by Holliday. He
has a few question marks like Bautista, Ethier, Quentin
and Duffy plus the post hyped Hermida. His pitching is
interesting too with a couple of young starters like
Johnson, James and Reyes and the injured Patterson but
his strength is his bullpen. Chris could potentially
have four closers with Gonzalez, Valverde, Tankersley
and Wood or he could have none if Gonzalez gets traded,
if Valverde regresses, the fish sign a vet to close
again and the long shot Wood gets hurt again.
Weakness: Besides Johnson, Chris does not have much in
the infield.
Offense: B
Starting Pitching: C
Closers: B potentially could be an A+
Drew
Strength: Drew has a nice core of undervalued infielders
with Berkman, Uggla, Lopez, Nomar and Lee and a few
decent SP but like Chris his strength is his bullpen.
Although like Chris this off season could be interesting
as he has a solid closer in Fuentes and two tweeners.
Will Dempster close in 2007 (I am surprised he made it
through 2006) and will Valverde keep the job all season
so Julio has value.
Weakness: Outfielders.
Offense: B
Starting Pitching: B-
Closers: B
Gerry
Strength: Can Hall and Hanley do it again? If they
can that is an excellent MI that provides power and
speed. If he decides to keep Soriano at $43 he will have
about 70 HR and 100+ SB from 3 players for around $60.
Weakness: He lost all of his keepable pitchers since
their contracts are up plus with Izzy’s injury he might
not be a keeper either so he has no closers either.
Offense: C (only if the three big names produce, if not
it could be ugly)
Starting Pitching: F since he has none
Closer: Incomplete because of Izzy
Marty
Strength: I was way off in my assessment of Marty’s
team last off season. Everything Marty touched turned to
gold. Chris Duncan? Marty made some shrewd moves by
keeping Laroche (who broke out) and Hawpe (although I
would have kept him too) and was able to pickup Phillips
to fill in at 2B the whole season. That group along with
Beltran and a cheap McCann and Gonzalez provide a solid
offense and now a very good keeper list. Clemens could
be a thorn on his side until keepers are due and he
might have to make a tough decision.
Weakness: The Clemens situation other than that he is in
good shape
Offense: A
Starting Pitching: C (without Clemens) B (with him)
Closers: C+ (only a $34 Wagner) |
Perk
Strength: Perk has one luxury this off season the
potential to have 3 cheap closers. We know Cordero is a
closer the question is if Bowden is stupid enough to
trade him to the Sox. Saito is back and is #1 on the
depth chart in LA and Wainwright performed very well in
the playoffs but does he get bumped to the rotation if
Izzy is healthy. That said, he has some depth to play
with to help his offense.
Weakness: Offense, plain and simple. Tracy regressed a
bit but is still solid value but other than that he does
not have much.
Offense: D-
Starting Pitching: C- (Only true starter is Myers)
Closers: A
Mike/Josh
Strength: The best offensive value in the league in
Ryan Howard and a perennial Cy Young candidate with
Carpenter for under $30 combined. With Carpenter as his
anchor, a solid $22 Smoltz and a group that includes a
$7 Davis, $5 Cain and Sanchez Mike has a nice pitching
staff. He has two head cases at closer with Lidge and
Benitez both were either hurt or lost their role in
2006.
Weakness: Most importantly, listening to Chris and Drew.
Secondly, your offense after Howard and a cheap
Castillo.
Offense: A+ with Howard and F from everything else,
overall C-
Starting Pitching: A
Closers: B-
Zo
Strength: He has David Wright for the next 4 years
for $20. Will he keep Pujols for $50 and is that a
record for a keeper? Gordon at $23 is a decent value at
closer and both Weathers and Howry have an opportunity
to close in 2007.
Weakness: Considering Zo has not been able to make a
FAAB bid in 2 years and he missed the 2nd half of the
draft last year I am surprised he has almost 10 keepers.
That said, not a lot there but some potential.
Offense: C, a $20 Wright is a nice value and a $6
Encarnacion make up the offense.
Starting Pitching: D IF Sheets can stay healthy he can
be an ace if not he is in trouble.
Closers: B
Scott
Strength: Every year I over estimate Scott’s team
but he again has a solid hitting young core. Atkins
broke out, Freel and Tavarez steal a ton of bases and
Jackson is Wally Joyner at 1B.
Weakness: Inexperienced and injury plagued pitching
staff has killed Scott the past few years. A high priced
Peavy had a down year, Prior was hurt again and Duke did
not live up to the hype.
Offense: A-
Starting Pitching: C
Closers: D (only if Coffey/Bray do not close)
Dale
Strength: Fielder $10 and Sanchez $1 are a nice
core. Willingham is OF eligible next year but is still a
nice keeper at $8. Roberts $17 (is old) can still steal
bases and signed a nice deal in SF who needs some kind
of offense.
Weakness: Not much when it comes to pitching after
Penny. Broxton is the close of the future but that might
not be until end of 2007 or 2008.
Offense: B (if Ensberg comes back he could be an A-)
Starting Pitching: F
Closers: C- (Maybe Wheeler or Broxton sneak in a few
saves) |
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Misled
Michael Moyer, 10/03/06 |
Drew and
Chris,
After reading the email that Drew sent out I would like
to take this time to make you aware of my disappointment
not only in the two of you but in the league as a whole.
It is absolutely unfair that you both let me get my
hopes up for one more long season of baseball with
another 6th place finish. If Chris could have only
stayed ahead of Wormy and gotten a couple more homes
runs, I would have been in 5th. Also, if Drew could have
gotten a couple more stolen bases; once again I am
living gloriously in 5th place. And last but not least
the trade that both of you thought was a good idea would
have gotten me enough wins to be in first place. So the
moral of the story is that you both have lead me wrong
in my whole baseball career starting with me getting a
gnove that was too big for my little hand!
Michael |
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Towing Away the Title
Drew Gallagher, 10/03/06 |
Gentlemen,
Well, there wasn’t a whole lot of drama for the winner
this year. Mr. Slicker ran away with it and our
perpetual bridesmaid pulled away for second in the
waning moments. The Sluggers seem to be taking a liking
to that sixth place spot, just out of the money and
wishing that the season was another week longer. Still,
only two years into this fantasy baseball thing the boys
from Millersville are getting awfully close.
If any owners are not interested in returning in 2007
please let us know immediately so we can fill the
opening. Also, it really would make life easier if
everyone paid their entrance fees before the end of
April. Yes, Zo, this is directed at you. I know it can’t
be much fun not being able to make transactions and it’s
killing Jamie that there is an entire roster that he is
unable to plunder. This year we also ran into an issue
with the 1,000 innings requirement where Zo’s squad was
unable to make the innings and gave some points away to
other owners. Fortunately it did not impact the final
standings.
Chris will be sending out the surveys in a few months so
please list any issues that you would like to have
addressed in the survey. One point that Dale has asked
be placed on the survey is the trading deadline. Since
we now have six crossover owners from the ASL, |
he
thinks that it would make sense to get the rules in line
with one another. I agree that it would make life
easier. The trade deadline would be pushed back to a
later point in the year where those teams that are out
of the running would be able to “dump” for the next
season. Of course, dumping can greatly impact/influence
the pennant race so consider this when voting.
In the ASL we also “reward” The Millersville Sluggers
position in the standings with the number 1 pick in the
supplemental draft (actually we do the 5th place in the
ASL but we need to change that). This keeps some of the
bottom teams interested longer. The supplemental rounds
would go 6-10 and then 1-5 or 5-1. May be something else
we could consider.
I am certain I am forgetting some other issues to
discuss so please bring them up as you see fit.
Thanks to everyone and congratulations to Marty, Mini
Mal, Mal and Winterburn. It is with a heavy heart that I
relinquish the title of ESL Champion.
And now the moment that Jamie has been waiting for…let
the trade talks begin!
Thanks,
Drewer |
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2005 Winter Meeting Power
Rankings
Jamie Schlesinger, 11/03/05 |
To get some
trade talk going during the GM meetings I thought it
would worthwhile to put together my power
rankings (and to waste time at work). Obviously a lot
can change due to free agency and trades, but why not
have some discussion. Based on potential keepers here is
my list:
Offense:
1. Scott W
2. Zo
3. Your Pal
4. Jamie
5. Dale
6. Perk
7. Marty
8. Drew
9. Mike
10. Gerry
Pitching:
1. Drew
2. Jamie
3. Mike
4. Marty
5. Dale
6. Your Pal
7. Perk
8. Gerry
9. Scott W
10. Zo
Your Pal
Strength: Young OF prospects and my boy Brady Clark
Weakness: Closers unless M Gonzo closes with Pirates
Drew
Strength: Cheap closers
Weakness: No Offense besides Berkman and Overbay who
could be traded |
Jamie
Strength: Cheap closers and a good value Oswalt
Weakness: Needs a power hitting OF
Marty
Strength: Utley broke out and is a great value in a
weak position and has decent SP value
Weakness: No closers and not much offensive depth
Perk
Strength: Lopez and Tracy had big years and are cheap
($2 and $10 respectively)
Weakness: No closers and Clemens is a question mark
since he might retire
Gerry
Strength: Good value at SP
Weakness: No offense to speak of besides Hall
Mike/Josh
Strength: An under $10 Cy Young winner and a $2 D
Davis
Weakness: Besides Howard not a lot of value in
offense
Scott W
Strength: Very good offensive core with Cabrera,
Bonds, Weeks, Bay, Tavarez and Freel.
Weakness: Closers even though he has several closer
on his roster none of which a locks in 2006
Zo
Strength: Wright and Reyes are very good keepers and
can fetch a solid return if you make a move
Weakness: Do I need to write anything?
Dale
Strength: Decent SP core with Pettite, Hernandez and
Penny
Weakness: Not a lot of offense besides Ensberg and
hopefully Fielder |
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Year in Review
Drew Gallagher, 10/04/05 |
Gentlemen,
First of all, congratulations to those of you who cashed
and especially Gerry who rode Marlon Anderson to an
improbable last-week surge in the standings. How does
Michael go home and explain to Sue that Marlon
Anderson's three home runs in the last week cost them
money for the wedding? Can you say cash bar at the
reception? (Special shout out to Mike Capilo for
drafting the Orlando juggernaut and providing an April
foundation for Marlon Anderson's heroics.)
Chris is going to provide Scott a breakdown of the
proceeds in the next few days and we should be getting
checks from Scott in the very near future. In that vein,
if any of you have not paid please make arrangements to
do so. Payments are not going to be witheld
because of any gaps in the entrance fees but will be
rectified when said monies are paid. Remember, the ESL
has an "entrance" fee not an exit fee.
Chris will be sending out winter survey questions in a
few months. Prior to that time, we would ask that anyone
who is not returning next season please let us know so
we can find a new owner(s). |
I thought that
Marty, Zo and Michael (Josh anyone?) were fine additions
to the league and hope that you all enjoyed it as well.
(Beyond getting cars impounded moments before the
draft.) Note to Michael: Mr. Perkins blames you
exclusively for his disastrous season. He said that he
will not be helping the conglomerate at next year's
draft. Might be time to call in Tom Holland!
Special thanks to Chris (as always) for keeping things
running smoothly and allowing one season in 21 years
where his pitching tanked.
I know everyone is looking forward to that first offer
from Jamie. Please bear in mind that I have three
closers and am desperate for some offensive help so I am
willing to consider any and all offers.
Go Red Sox!
The Druids
2005 ESL Champions
P.S.--It's good to be the king! |
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Drew's Letter to John
Hunt, 12/30/04 |
John,
I sent you an e-mail last year about my friend Chris
Malinowski and will make another plug for his
consideration in the LABR draft this year. Much like
Ryne Sandberg in the Hall, I think Chris should get a
shot at the LABR National League.
Our Eternal Squabblers League just completed its 20th
season. Chris (The Malcontents) has won the league an
amazing 14 times including 2004 which makes him eligible
for the LABR. He has a phenomenal web site,
www.yourpalchrismal.com, that I think you would enjoy
and appreciate. If you click on the rotisserie feature
of the site and go to the ESL portion he has the
standings for all 20 years along with each team's
all-time leader in categories. The information he has
compiled on our league is amazing. I know you're quite
busy and can't go surfing through a plethora of web
sites but if you have a moment you may want to take this
one in for the rotisserie portion. (Plus there are
photos of our first Yoo-Hoo ceremony from 1985 when we
were all in high school and much thinner with more
hair. The Yoo-Hoo ceremony was ultimately discontinued
but we were true to the founding fathers for the first
few years!) |
Chris'
dominance has given birth to some draft day lingo such
as The Malinowski Tax. The way the tax works is if
bidding is slow and seems to be about to end, Chris will
subtly enter if the player interests him. What was a
"going once, going twice..." now has five other owners
in it because the player must be good if Chris wants him
and if he really wants him he needs to pay much more for
him. There is also a new owner who tries to emulate
Chris and practically sits on his lap at draft day. We
call him Mini Mal.
When we started the ESL in 1985 only two of our 10
owners were over 16 and could drive. It was an
outgrowth of our playing stickball together in Pennside,
PA. One of our three original owners retired after 2004
and 20 years as an owner. He said that he didn't have
the time for it to which my wife responded that she
couldn't see how a "fantasy team" could require
all that much time since it didn't really exist. Chris
and I are the only two original owners remaining but the
league continues with the rest of us mired in the
never-ending quest for second place.
Thanks for your consideration of my friend as a
candidate for the LABR draft!
Drew Gallagher |
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| Drew's Letter to John
Hunt, 1/06/04 |
I do not know
if you guys are going to invite any laypeople to the
spring LABR draft, but wanted to offer up my self-serving
credentials. Actually, just wanted to share with
someone that 2004 will mark the 20th anniversaries of both
our Altered State League (AL only) and Eternal Squabblers
League (NL only). I'm certain there are a few leagues
that have already celebrated 20 years, but I was only 15
when the ASL began and my father had to drive me to the
draft since I didn't have a license.
Dad, not aware of the length of such an affair, was
employed as auctioneer about halfway through and he has
continued as auctioneer for almost every one of those 20
years. Of the 12 original owners, I was the youngest by
10 years when the league started and I am now the only
original member of the league that has participated for
all 20 years. (I have one championship to show for it but
let's skip that part.) I'd be willing to bet there aren't
many out there who have done this for 20 years with those
20 years making up more than half their lives. |
Never missed a
draft. Even through college when I would sometimes have to
take the train five hours to get back from college since I
didn't have a car at school.
After participating in the ASL draft in March of 1985, I
was so enamored with the concept that I got a group of my
friends together and we started our NL only league at the
all-star break of 1985. We had a half season (doing stats
by hand) and have continued with that league as well.
There are three of the original 10 owners who have
competed for all 20 years. Pretty impressive in my mind.
So I offer up to you, how many other rotisserie players
have been in two leagues for 20 years straight? Trust me,
this does not impress my wife.
Thanks for your time and I look forward to the fantasy
baseball column starting up again soon.
Drew Gallagher |
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