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One for The Thumb
Drew Gallagher, 10/01/08 |
Gentlemen,
Another season and another championship for the
Malignancies. Though The Chicken bestowed the honors on
Chris when he saw his initial roster, the season was not
without some drama after the "Jamie Rape" a few weeks
before the deadline. The Keppinger Fan Club leapt into
first place for a short while and actually made Chris
the Cubs of the ASL for a few weeks. But just like the
New York Yankees, when the regular season ends you know
Chris will be at the top. Well, except this year because
the Yankees are old and ARod is a selfish ass.
This is the fifth ASL title for Chris who still trails
the Chicken (7). (It pained me to type that.)
The Daley Doubles cruised to a second place finish based
mostly on trading an injured Adam Jones to the Drewers
without revealing the full extent of the injury. (In
short, he treated me like the Mariners with Erik Bedard.)
Dale celebrated his second place finish by jumping up
and down on a sofa like Tom Cruise. What Dale failed to
realize was that Tom Cruise has magic underwear that
protects him from injury and Dale, naked and wearing no
underwear (magic or otherwise), broke his leg in the
fall.
The Question Marks had to wait out two extra games to
hold off Fan Club for a third place finish. There are
many reasons to rejoice over Mark finishing third (he's
got four kids that he'll have to put through college one
day) but foremost is that Jamie finished fourth--the
kissing your sister spot in the standings. Yes, Jamie
cashed, but some would argue that Scott, finishing fifth
and getting the first overall pick in the reserve draft,
made out better. The gods of fantasy baseball intervened
to set the world straight after the "Jamie Rape". (Trade
update: Sean Rodriguez, who Jamie said was a guaranteed
stud for years to come, finished the season with a .204
batting average in 167 at bats. Projected over 500 at
bats, Sean Rodriguez will hit .204.) |
After
finishing 11th his first two years in the ASL, Scott
Metcalfe cashed for the second year in a row.
Matt Dodge just missed cashing for the third year in a
row which would've been one of the great feats of
all-time since he punted both the power categories and
not even the famed Pete DeCoursey tried that (at least
not on purpose).
The Chicken pieced together a roster of flotsam and made
an interesting run at the top five. He'll have the third
overall pick in the supplemental draft to show for it.
Rick finished eighth but gets fantasy MVP Carlos Quentin
back at $10 and has a $3 closer for 2009. Though neither
can hold a candle to Sean Rodriguez who played in 59
games and hit three homeruns. Projected over 150 games
that comes to eight homeruns. But he'll hit .204!
Any issues that you would like to include for the annual
survey please forward to Jamie. Payments for the money
spots will be mailed in the coming weeks. (As an aside,
can we begin to fathom what excuses our former
treasurer, Scott Winterburn, would've been throwing out
there in this economic climate?)
Provided Tailgaters doesn't become the 100th restaurant
to fail in Berks County in the coming months, we hope to
have our draft there again. Trading season is now open.
Go Sox! (The Chicken Sux.)
Drewer |
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The Return of the King
Drew Gallagher, 11/30/07 |
Gentlemen,
As the winter meetings approach, I wanted to make you
aware of one seismic change in the ASL landscape. The
Wine Drives, with one ASL championship in two years,
have been ceded to a man that makes Mark Cuban look
humble…a man who former Red Sox pitcher Dennis Boyd
dubbed the original Oil Can…a man who knows the "c" in
Gubicza is silent... The myth, the self-aggrandizing
legend, the founding father of the ASL….The San Drago
Chicken himself, Mr. Mike Drago has returned (again).
For those of you unfamiliar with Michael and his
rotisserie prowess there is a Wikipedia entry. He was
gracious enough to help us out at last year's draft and
cover for the Daley Doubles. He was thrust into the
middle of Silvagate and was not appeased until an
official fatwa was rendered. (Said fatwa resulted in
Silva being traded by the Perk N Beans to the Doubles
later in the season.) He founded the Altered States
League in 1985 with a bunch of reporters, deadbeat
friends and a 15-year old whose first draft was
highlighted by the drafting of Pat Tabler and Brook
Jacoby for $1 each. He is still a reporter for the
Reading Eagle, his friends are still deadbeats and Pat
Tabler remains the highlight of 23 years of ASL drafts
for said 15-year old. |
When advised
of the new owner, Perk N Beans owner Jon Perkins issued
the following statement: "The guy's a toolbag but at
least he's not a little bitch like Dale. Can we kick
Dale out?"
In a totally unrelated move, The Drewers announced the
rehiring of Dick Drago as their new pitching coach.
Drewer Manager for life, Pat Tabler (see above), said
that the move had nothing to do with the return of The
San Drago Chicken and put it off as mere coincidence.
When reminded that Dick Drago seems to be rehired as the
pitching coach for The Drewers every time The Chicken
returns to the league he said it was nothing more than
coincidence. "Look, sometimes two great things go
together. Like chocolate and peanut butter. Pizza and
beer. Dick and Drago."
I personally am tickled to have Drago back in the fold
and have always maintained that the ASL without The
Chicken is like a day without sunshine or a Pete
DeCoursey car without a boot on the front tire.
Now please join me in hoping that Dan Haren gets traded
to the Mets.
Drewer |
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TENTATIVE
2008 DRAFT DATE:
Saturday, March 29th, 2008
Start time: TBD
Location: Tailgaters (tentatively)
Since some people forget every year:
You must draft 23 players for $260
(2) C, 1B, 2B, SS, 3B, IF, (5) OF, DH, U, (9) P
TAILGATERS BAR & GRILL
Located at the Intersection of Route 73 and Route 12 (Pricetown
Road). Tailgaters actually opens at 4:00, so we have 5 hours to finish our draft.
We have the entire restaurant to ourselves until that time.
Beer and soda will be served by a waitress who will be available to us. |
|
2008 ASL
ROSTER FREEZE:
Saturday, March 22nd, 2008
Exact time TO BE DETERMINED
You may retain up to
13 players. You must also note any contract extensions at that time.
You may submit your freeze list early - you can change it as
many times as you like up until the dead-line. However, once you submit
your list, you may no longer make any trades until after
the draft. If you have more than (5) s3 rookies, you
will not have to cut down to the maximum of (5) until
draft day. |
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ASL TRADING RULES:
Draft Day thru noon on August 31st: During the trading
period, teams may accept only TWO "asterisk" players total throughout
the year and those must be from different teams. On the flip-side, a team
may trade AWAY as many "asterisk" players as they like (but no two
"asterisk" players to the same team.)
"Asterisk" players are
any players auction drafted for $20 or over, any players FAAB drafted for $60 or
over, players of any salary in the final year of their contract, and players
traded to the National League.
Restricted Trading, 12:01 p.m. on August 1st thru noon August 31st:
You may trade with
any team +/- 5 points in the standings (based on the most up
to date standings on the front page of the All-Star Stats
web-site. "Live" standings will not count, as there
will be no way to verify it later.) Also, all teams
that have less than 40 points may all trade freely with each other.
The asterisk rules will apply during this
period. |
|
2008 Asterisks |
| Team |
Asterisk
Players
Received |
Player
Received
from who? |
| |
|
|
| Mark Bennett |
Brian Roberts ($34, s1) |
Stu |
| Matt Dodge |
Todd Jones ($17, opt) |
Stu |
| Mike Drago |
none |
|
| Rick Franz |
Johnny Damon ($27, s2) |
Stu |
| Drew Gallagher |
none |
|
| Chris Mal |
none |
|
| Scott Metcalfe |
none |
|
| Jon Perkins |
none |
|
| Dale Scott |
none |
|
| Stu Sheetz |
none |
|
| Jamie
Schlesinger |
C-M Wang ($14, opt)
Carl Crawford ($58, s2) |
Drew
Marty |
| Marty Slickers |
none |
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ASL "Win/Loss" Records,
1985-2007
Several years ago, when Jerry Heath was still
in the roto business, researching the science of Rotisserie, he
came up with a Won/Loss method to determine the "value" of
players, in terms of their impact on the standings.
He would survey the final standings of hundreds of league. If a
player was on a first-place team, he got a win. If he was on a
last-place team, he got a loss. If he was on a team that
finished between first and last, he had no record.
For example, if Pedro Martinez was drafted in 100 leagues, and
was on 35 pennant-winners, and 5 cellar-dwellers, he would have
a 35-5 "record." It usually turned out that the best players,
purchased for the best value, had the best won-loss records.
Using Heath's W-L formula as a starting point, I thought I would
create all-time standings for ASL franchises. Pennant-winners
would achieve an 11-0 record (in a 12-team league). Second-place
teams would have a 10-1 record. Last-place teams 0-11, etc.
Using that method, here's what I came up with: |
|
Team |
Owner |
Seasons |
|
Titles |
|
$* |
|
W |
|
L |
|
T |
|
Pct. |
|
Nicklebockers |
Steve Nickel |
2 |
|
|
|
2 |
|
20 |
|
2 |
|
0 |
|
.909 |
|
Chicken |
Mike Drago |
17 |
|
7 |
|
11 |
|
143 |
|
43 |
|
0 |
|
.769 |
| Rob
Sox |
Rob Schwartz |
15 |
|
3 |
|
9 |
|
121 |
|
42 |
|
1 |
|
.742 |
|
Mystery Tramps |
Gerry Kahle |
1 |
|
|
|
1 |
|
8 |
|
3 |
|
0 |
|
.727 |
|
Malignancies |
C. Malinowski |
13 |
|
4 |
|
8 |
|
102 |
|
41 |
|
0 |
|
.713 |
| Jon
DeLoreans |
Jon Finglass |
8 |
|
1 |
|
5 |
|
61 |
|
26 |
|
0 |
|
.701 |
|
Dr.K's |
Nelson Kohn |
3 |
|
1 |
|
1 |
|
21 |
|
11 |
|
1 |
|
.656 |
| Black
Sheep |
Rich Ziemba |
11 |
|
|
|
6 |
|
76 |
|
44 |
|
0 |
|
.633 |
| Snyde
Remarks |
Steve Snyder |
12 |
|
|
|
6 |
|
82 |
|
48 |
|
1 |
|
.630 |
|
Gerry's Kids |
Gerry Orlando |
6 |
|
1 |
|
2 |
|
38 |
|
26 |
|
2 |
|
.594 |
|
Atomic Bombers |
Tom Serpe |
1 |
|
|
|
|
|
6 |
|
4 |
|
1 |
|
.590 |
|
City Slickers |
Marty Slickers |
7 |
|
1 |
|
4 |
|
42 |
|
35 |
|
0 |
|
.545 |
| Wine Drives |
Drew Wine |
2 |
|
1 |
|
1 |
|
12 |
|
10 |
|
0 |
|
.545 |
|
Rug Burns |
S. Winterburn |
8 |
|
1 |
|
2 |
|
47 |
|
40 |
|
1 |
|
.540 |
|
C.C.Bandits |
G.Ciambruschini |
4 |
|
|
|
1 |
|
23 |
|
20 |
|
1 |
|
.535 |
|
Drewers |
D. Gallagher |
23 |
|
1 |
|
7 |
|
127 |
|
122 |
|
2 |
|
.510 |
|
Dodge Polaras |
Matt Dodge |
7 |
|
|
|
2 |
|
38 |
|
37 |
|
2 |
|
.507 |
|
Grossouts |
Mike Gross |
2 |
|
|
|
1 |
|
10 |
|
11 |
|
0 |
|
.476 |
|
DeCoys |
P. DeCoursey |
11 |
|
1 |
|
4 |
|
55 |
|
65 |
|
1 |
|
.458 |
|
Yardbirds |
Rick Franz |
3 |
|
|
|
|
|
15 |
|
18 |
|
0 |
|
.455 |
| AL
Bees |
Al Walentis |
8 |
|
|
|
2 |
|
39 |
|
48 |
|
1 |
|
.448 |
|
Perk & Beans |
Jon Perkins |
8 |
|
|
|
2 |
|
38 |
|
49 |
|
1 |
|
.437 |
|
CarboKusics |
Gary Warner |
2 |
|
|
|
|
|
13 |
|
19 |
|
0 |
|
.406 |
|
K-9s |
Kori Walter |
5 |
|
|
|
1 |
|
22 |
|
33 |
|
0 |
|
.400 |
|
Morris Minors |
Dave Morris |
13 |
|
|
|
4 |
|
56 |
|
84 |
|
3 |
|
.400 |
|
Yankee Clippers |
Rich Scarcella |
8 |
|
1 |
|
1 |
|
33 |
|
53 |
|
2 |
|
.384 |
|
Daley Doubles |
Dale Scott |
9 |
|
|
|
3 |
|
37 |
|
61 |
|
1 |
|
.378 |
|
Salary Caps |
Mike Capilo |
3 |
|
|
|
|
|
12 |
|
20 |
|
1 |
|
.378 |
| Danny
Ozarks |
Dan Haughney |
10 |
|
|
|
3 |
|
41 |
|
69 |
|
0 |
|
.372 |
| Mittl
Infielders |
John Mittl |
10 |
|
|
|
|
|
41 |
|
69 |
|
0 |
|
.372 |
|
Question Marks |
Mark Bennett |
7 |
|
|
|
|
|
28 |
|
48 |
|
1 |
|
.368 |
|
Rosas/Dirt |
Paul Rosa |
3 |
|
|
|
1 |
|
12 |
|
21 |
|
0 |
|
.363 |
|
R-Huskies |
Scott Metcalfe |
3 |
|
|
|
1 |
|
10 |
|
22 |
|
1 |
|
.313 |
| 3
Sheetz 2 Wind |
Stu Sheetz |
3 |
|
|
|
1 |
|
10 |
|
23 |
|
0 |
|
.303 |
| DARS |
A. DeRossa |
4 |
|
|
|
|
|
12 |
|
30 |
|
0 |
|
.286 |
|
Cabin Boy |
J. Schlesinger |
1 |
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
|
8 |
|
|
|
.273 |
|
Nickerbockers |
John Nickerson |
1 |
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
|
8 |
|
0 |
|
.273 |
|
1-Armed Bandits |
Jamie Yousaitis |
4 |
|
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